Time to stop the pity party

and post something I wrote a while ago.

The Promise

Will you love me? You ask.
And I answer, of course I will love you.
Your eyes sparkle with mischief and knowing.
It won’t be easy, you tell me.
That won’t be a problem, I say (the truth is, I have no idea just how impossible it will seem at times,Or I just might say no: You know this).
I warn you that I am not patient enough,That I lose my temper too often,I give up too easily,And I very rarely forgive.
You tell me this is okay.
You only need me to promise you
That I will love you forever and always.
I look into your eyes and see you as you will be;
Shining,
Beautiful,
Creative,
Intelligent,
Caring, and
Loving,
But difficult, too.
So incredibly, terribly difficult.
Can I do this?
I don’t know.
I have no way of knowing.
But I have invited you here
And you have shooting stars to chase, clouds to dance on,
And you are waiting for my answer.
I don’t think I can do this.
I am frightened.
I cannot see your future.
I cannot see our future.
There is too much unknown.
I have never liked surprises.

What’s in your future? I ask, and you smile.
Why don’t we find out together? you say.
All you need to do is promise.

And I consider my life and realize that saying no to you
Would be much more painful than saying yes to this frightening unknown.
And I tell you that yes, I promise.
I promise I will love you forever and always.

I will forget all of this soon.
I will forget that I called you to me,
And that I met you,
That I chose you and invited you to be with me,
And that you came to me
Because I made a promise.
Very soon, life will get busy, hectic, and scary.
But in the midst of my fear and worry over you
I will realize that
My life is also thrilling and full of wonder and amazement because of you.
And I will look at you,
My precious child,
And tell you that I love you
More fiercely than I have ever loved anyone before.
But, you will ask me, do you love me
Forever and always?
And I will say yes, of course.
And then you will smile,
As if you had already known.