It's okay to have fears. We need to recognize them, accept them, and then blow them off.
For now, let's list....
1. What if my son becomes one of those social outcasts who brings a gun to school and shoots his classmates and teachers?
2. What if my son never learns how to make friends?
3. What if all of his teachers hate him?
4. What if he never learns how to take care of himself and we get stuck with him forever?
5. What if my son gets teased to the point where he hates himself and wants to die?
I know there's more. Lots more. I'll have to have a Part 2 list, because I'm drawing a blank.
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2 comments:
OK these are all rather normal mom fears. Even for moms that don't have kids on the autism spectrum.
The first thing you should know is that kids can improve greatly given the right environment, educational support, and parent(s) who are willing to advocate for them.
I am especially struck by your number 5. It reminds me of some of the worries about my daughter. One thing to remember is that emotional connections are more difficult for our autistic children. My daughter was considered the coolest kid in her middle school... because she wasn't capable at that point of caring whether the other kids liked her or not. The other kids took her inability to connect as self confidence and aloofness, and she had TONS of kids vying to be her friend.
BTW, she DID learn to make friends, and considering she was once a child who the doctors said would probably never walk, talk, or respond to me in any way, that's pretty darn good.
I'll also tell you that most of those social outcasts who bring guns to school aren't our special needs kids. I used to worry about that with my son,who is both autistic and schizophrenic. He's 26 now and never shot up anything... has his own apartment (well, it's a pigsty, but what can you expect from young men?) And will be returning to college next fall.
The best thing we can do for our children (and ourselves) is to look at their abilities rather than their disabilities, and to have hope and confidence that they will turn out to be the best thems possible.
Thanks, Kate! It's great to get reassurance from a mom who's already been there. I don't worry about things like this too often, but I figured if I put them all in one place, I'd be able to check them over occasionally and then get on with my life. Worry doesn't do anyone any good anhow. So I try to limit it.
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