More whining

Monster is kicked out of his day care effective March 20th.

We are having a meeting in early March to determine if his current school settting is the best place for Monster to be at this time.
We are waiting to see if our PCA hours get approved.
We are waiting for OCR to determine if we can mediate with the after school program about Monster’s being able to stay, which may end up a moot point if he’s going to move.

I still don’t know what we will do this summer.

I am trying to keep my sense of humor about this all. The meeting last night was, after all, quite funny, as the parent advocate, hubby, and I slammed the aftercare people with all sorts of questions they weren’t prepared to answer. We stood outside after the meeting and sort of luaghed about it. Then I went home and fell apart.

I am on the verge of hysterical. I can either laugh or bawl but I’m never sure which will come out.
Thank goodness hubby is finally being supportive, because I really need his help now.

I wish I could just quit my job. But I can’t. We don’t want to have a luxurious lifestyle. We want to have a roof over our heads. That requires two incomes for us. I really wish I could just run away. I would join a circus but I doubt I have any talent they’d want. Do gypsies still travel in caravans? Would they have me? Or could I just run off to someplace in Oregon and live in a little cabin and let everyone think I’m a witch?

I can’t concentrate. I have to get work done, but seriously I’ve been here 3 hours and just realized that it really HAS been three hours and I have done nothing but scan the info I needed to get to OCR and email it to them. I sit here and mull over everything jumbled up in my brain and wish I had solid answers or any answers because I hate not having answers.

I’m just tired. I thought I had all this fight in me. It turns out it was not an infinite supply. Right now if I could curl up in a corner and not deal with anything I would be fine.

And still each night I snuggle up with my sweet boy and know that somehow I need to keep going. He is so damned lovable and snuggly and sweet and trusting. What choice do I have?

This is stupid, sitting here crying at my desk. I used to scoff at people who got emotional over stuff at work and wondered why they couldn’t leave that shit at home. Hah. Shows what I knew.Why do I even bother with mascara when it always ends up smeared under my eyes, raccoon-like?