Angry, disgusted, annoyed

This is all I did. I sent an email to the head of the after school program asking if Monster’s aide will be working this summer and will be available to work with him. Simple question. But I didn’t get a response and now I got a voicemail this morning from head of program asking if we can meet to discuss Monster’s “continuing concerns”. I called and left HER a voice mail asking what exactly these concerns are, because Monster has been doing wonderfully for the past couple of months. His aide really gets him and the two of them get along fine. So I know they don’t want him in the summer program, or they would have just answered my question. And I’m sick of these people and the runaround they’ve been giving us from the start, so I emailed them and CCed the assistant superintendent of the school district, because he got pulled into this whole case when M’s old aide allegedly abused my son and we got the police involved (the case is ongoing, hence the “alleged”). I know they think I am nuts and pushy and mean and that I make bigger deals out of things than they think I need to, but this is my son they’re dealing with, a flesh and bones little person with feelings and rights. I will not allow them to jerk him around. I’m a fighter. They already know that. So they’d better be prepared for battle.
Coincidentally, my second voicemail was from an attorney who got my letter to the OCR (Office of Civil Rights) and she is sure as heck willing to take this case on if the after school place does something stupid like say, we don’t want your kid here anymore. The meeting is scheduled for next Weds at 5. Our parent advocate is coming. My husband is coming. I asked the asst superintendent to please come to the meeting because I think the school district should know what their after school program is up to.
This is the email I just sent out.

Hi ___,
I left you a message on your voice mail but figured I would email you as well. I would like at least a brief explanation of what you mean regarding Monster's "continuing concerns". You are now working with the school to learn their best practices in helping Monster be successful. I asked a simple question - will his aide be available for my son during summer break - and got no answer, but instead get an ominous-sounding request to meet to discuss Monster’s ongoing concerns. If this is something we can simply discuss over the phone so you can tell me you don't want M in your summer program, let's do that so I don't need to miss any more work. If this is in fact a meeting in which we will discuss how best to work with Monster this summer so he can be successful, I don't have a problem with showing up.
I also wanted to let you know that there is a follow-up IEP meeting for Monster at 8:oo at school if anyone from your place is interested in attending. Monster’s aide has been telling hubby every day for the past week that M is doing really well. It seems to me that if the aide is allowed to work with Monster on her own terms, since she is the only one who has taken the time to really get to know him and his special needs, then M does just fine. Yes she is still learning about M but she really likes him and really sees a chance to be successful with him.So I guess all I need to know is, will the aide be available for the summer, and is your place willing to work with M this summer?

If both answers are yes, and you would still like to meet, then next Wednesday at 5:00 would work well for hubby and I and our parent advocate. Asst District Superintendent - if there is any way you could come I would appreciate it. I would like to make sure that someone outside of aftershool program is aware of what is happening.

Thank you and have a great day!

Monster’s Mom

Overreaction? Perhaps. But this has been going on since before school even started, when the main teacher in the after school program called me in to meet with her to discuss Monster's "special needs" and how they could help him both, and within 5 minutes of the meeting she had dumped the discipline chart in front of me, telling me that Monster will be help to the same standards as other children because they just can't have "grey areas" like that. I cried. I cried through that whole damned meeting because I had stupidly thought that schools and in-school after-care programs would be more willing to work with Monster than your everyday chain daycare (like the one who lied to me and told me they had no openings for my Asperger's son, and then told my friend who called 10 minutes later that of course they had room for her child, same age as M, same hours, same everything. I actually called her on it and chewed her out. Hate those chain places).
The teacher who sat and smiled at me while I cried through that meeting and claimed they'd do their best to not let Monster get in situations where he'd get suspended told her boss that the meeting had gone really well. Apparently parents cry through those things often.
So if I seem to overreact it's because I don't trust these people. I know as long as M's aide is there that Monster is safe and well-cared for. But the rest of them I don't trust. They lie.
Here's another lie they told when Monster was allegedly abused by old aide. Two weeks before the incident Monster said to old aide, playfully, not in anger, "I'm going to shoot you!" Yes, not smart thing to say. We talked to him about it. We told him it's not okay to say that to anyone. He understood. That was the last we heard of it. When the alleged abuse happened the director showed up when my hubby came to pick up and showed him a list of horrible things my son had done at their place in the past two weeks. Here was the kicker. "Threatened to bring a gun to school and kill a teacher." Okay, excuse this, but WHAT.THE.FUCK!?!?! We told her she's lying. We told her if that had really happened then why didn't we get a written notice that our son was making terroristic threats?
Why do I keep him there? Simple. We have noplace else to go. He needs to be within the bussing route to get to his afterschool place, and we have exhausted every other place in the area. And, since they have to accomodate Monster, I feel this burning need to not be like all the other parents who throw their hands up in desperation and pull their kid out. This is what they want. They don't want the extra work and headaches. This is why I fight. Because they have bullied too many special needs kids out of their program and I an angry that we all have to fight this bullshit every day. So I will fight as long as I can.
My husband says I am insane. I guess I am. But I'm pissed. And don't piss me off. I have a whole other post I need to write on my anger. But let's just say, my anger forces me to fight even when fighting seems stupid and useless. Even when it makes me hated.
Wish me luck. If this turns into a legal circus, so be it. It won't be because I haven't tried to get them to to right by my son. I am not jumping the gun. I have been more than patient. And I'm not a patient person.