3-1/2 hours to go (and then 4 more days)

Monster is spending the day at my company’s drop-in daycare. And so far he’s doing well.
The PCA flaked out on us. She said she could watch Monster starting last Friday, but then emailed from her vacation to say she had gotten mixed up and wasn’t coming home until Friday. I had to take that day off to watch Monster. Then Sunday I called to make sure everything was set for this week and supposedly she has appendicitis or gallstones or whatever. I am so glad I had a backup plan. I just hope Monster is good there. He just needs to get through this week.
I don’t know why but I have let this whole situation get me down. I feel like I’m sliding back down into darkness. My son is 6 and is so bad that no place wants him. But he isn’t bad. He’s wonderful. And I look into the future and wonder how often I will be left scrambling for someone or someplace to watch my son. We hopefully have a PCA for all summer, but then next year we have to figure out after-school care, or if we’re going to keep our hours the way they are now (hubby goes in super early to be home for the bus). And then the school closes all of the time. If this drop-in place can deal with him I can put him back there.

I’m just so tired of not being able to rely on people. I have trust issues to begin with and when people let me down I am doubly disappointed, because I really want people to come through for us, even if I don’t expect them to.