I've been trying to figure out what's going to happen next fall, since hubby's company is moving way south and he will not be able to get home in time to meet the bus come next fall. So I'm trying to pin these people down on something - ANYTHING. Here's my emails and the responses so far....
Hi Mrs.____, I am not sure if you are aware but Monster is now at ______ in a special ed class. I understand all but one of the special ed classes are based at ____ (as opposed to the one M used to go to). Does your After School Care program offer daycare for these special needs children at _______? Is there a chance that Monster could be included in the fall? We are set for the rest of this school year and the summer but we will need to have a place to put him come fall. I was just thinking, with all of those special needs kids over there, that there may be a special program I haven't been told of?
Thank you,
Monster’s Mom
ONE DAY LATER....
Hi Mrs. ____, I'm sorry to be rushing you, but my husband's boss is trying to pin him down on what his hours are going to be in the fall. The setup he has now where he can meet M's bus is temporary, and he will be able to switch his hours in the summer. What we need to know is, is he going to have to switch back next fall? It's very important that we know ASAP if there is a place for Monster or not, because my husband's job is at stake here. Please let me know today. And please - I don't need to meet with you on this. It should be a simple answer and something my husband can tell his boss right away.
Thank you,
Monster’s Mom
Hi, Monster’s Mom--Although there is an special education room at ______, The After School Care program doesn't have a program set up specifically for the children who receive services in the special ed room during the school day. You can sign Monster up for After School Care for next fall. At the end of the summer, we would need to meet to discuss what Monster's needs are going forward into the 2008-09 school year. That will give us all an opportunity to reconsider his needs and what reasonable accommodations can be made so Monster can be successful in After School Care at ______. Hope this helps.
Mrs. ______
Manager, Youth and Family Services Programs
City of _____________Community Education
Hi Mrs. _____,
I am curious what sort of accommodations you will be willing to make for Monster that you don't claim you've already tried for him? Because we were told this same thing last fall and then as you know he started getting written up almost as soon as he entered your program. Monster will not be different. After School Care couldn't handle him this year. I'd like to hear what sort of ideas they have to help Monster be successful next year?We can sit down and have a meeting and ASC will give us all of their good intentions but it's all hot air when they aren't willing to back them up. So - before I tell my husband everything is set for fall, please let me know how Monster will be handled more successfully this time around.
Thank you.
Monster’s Mom
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This is the same anonymous from the other post about OASIS. I just feel for you so much but I see things that you can do too to change direction a bit. Being firm is good but always keep emotions out of it, at all times. I know that's hard. Stick to very small, quick emails as much as you can and when you don't get your answer escalate it to the Principal. When that doesn't get you somewhere, escalate to the district coordinator or assistant superintendent (whomever is next in line). Go to board meetings and stay up on what is going on, especially with spec ed. They notice you there and it makes them feel good actually that you took the time. Also, when you do things for your child, let them know or always offer to do something to help, always say 'let me know what more I can do.' I'm not sure how they think of you but it does matter to some degree. I've seen and heard too many times parents just pushing and screaming and getting nowhere but frustrated (on both sides). Stick to facts:
We are in a situation that's time sensitive. I need to know if my child will be in ____ program. If you cannot help me, can you please direct me to who can. Thank you. Sincerely....
Have you seen wrightslaw? Their saying? "From emotions to advocacy." Drop the emotions (even anger) because it gets you nowhere. Stick to facts all the time, make your argument by facts and escalate when necessary.
Your not doing anything wrong, your at a stage right now that we all were at -those of us with older kids.
Respect from the school IS important. You can stick to what you believe, find the facts (which may include doc notes, etc) and spell it out for them. ALWAYS thanks those that do it well or let them know 'yes! That's what I'm talking about!!!" Let them know when they 'get it.'
OH! I wish I could talk to you about this for hours. There is a lot to this stuff but getting involved in the district and your son's education and well being shows them something and they will have respect for you.
Now trust that you could be doing all you can but if the teacher just doesn't get these kids then your stuck for now. You might want to simply get through this year but really focus on this fall. Do you get summer school? Extended School year? Is your child having trouble with math or reading or speach? Look into homeschooling over the summer and check out local park districts and especially community centers for things they might do for autism. Also check out Pragmatic language, Lindamood Bell V/V and On Cloud Nine, Inferencing skills, typing (spongebob is a good one) or handwriting (Handwriting without Tears is a very good program).
Ok, I probably told you a lot you already know but I had to state it just in case! I'm taking the day off so I can 't be sure how often I can get to your blog but I just feel so bad for you and i wish I could help you somehow because I know this frustration your feeling and I never want to feel that again. I probably will though. We are getting ready for middle school. YIPES!
I do my best to keep emotion out of things, but frustration gets the best of me lots of the time.
Also, I have a history with these after school people. They kicked my son out after I went to the police to report that my son had been injured by his one-on-one aide. It's a huge fiasco that is still going on so something I can't discuss. But it's very difficult for me to keep the anger out of my correspondence with these people because of what has already happened.
So yeah, I see your point. And I have a parent advocate and she helps keep me grounded in our one-on-one meetings.
As for the school (which is separate in a way from the after school program, but not. It's complicated), I have thanked all of these people for all they are doing for Monster. They really are busting their butts for him in many ways. I do try to show my appreciation as much as possible.
As far as ESY - no, Monster doesn't get it. This afternoon program for EBD kids was their idea of how to keep him on track for the summer. But I have no idea when he will actually start. we need to wait for the next opening.
He has a PCA and he has respite at a center that I can use my PCA hours on at any time. The respite program has field trips and such, so my plan is to put him there Fridays and days when there are field trips. Other days he will be with his PCA.
I love Wrightslaw and they have helped me so much when it comes to info on Section 504 and IDEA. I haven't been there in awhile - I should head over there and see what's new.
Thanks so much for all of your help. Even if it's stuff I already know, a lot of it (like keeping my emotions out of the school stuff) is stuff I obviously need to be reminded of frequently.
I loved the baseball story, BTW!
I hope you hang out here more and have more input. Not only does it help me but my hope is that someone who hasn't even come as far as I have will be able to benefit from my experiences plus those of someone who's gotten way past what I'm going through.
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