They're trying to fix my kid!

I haven’t decided yet if this afternoon program that Monster just started uses cruel and unusual techniques to get their kids to behave, or if Monster knows how to play off of my greatest fears; that he will be hurt, abused, made to feel bad about himself, laughed at, set apart from the other children, and, perhaps worst of all, given the tools to grow up and be independent.
Because, and I have to be honest here, there is already a part of me that is mourning, that is kicking a screaming, “IT’S NOT FAIR!” that “they” are turning my child into a child who is self-sufficient enough that he doesn’t need Mommy every time his life goes off track.

Of course the logical part of me sees all of the benefits to this. My job, after all, is to allow this child to become as independent as he possibly can be, while still allowing him to feel attached to me when needed (which will, sadly, be less and less, and is happening faster than I expected or wanted).

Along with his odd display of empathy over this weekend, I also watched him hold his own at his cousin’s high school graduation open house, where he never once hesitated to wonder if it was okay for him to get right in there with the teenagers and adults and play volleyball with them. He never once came looking for me. At one point I went outside just to see what my son was doing, but if I feared he was lonely, feeling left out, bored, needing me, I was sorely mistaken.

The least this afternoon class can do is somehow hurt my child, mentally or physically, in a way that I cannot allow to happen and I will have to investigate and maybe complain. But how twisted is it that in my mind the worst thing this program will do to my child is make him more self-sufficient.
And while I would never sabotage something so important, there will be the part of me that will need to process this, this loss of my needy small boy. So while I hope the school is as good as is promised, and while I hope they change his way of thinking into one of introspection and empathy, it will be putting a large piece of me out of work. And it makes me sad just thinking about it.