Five words

Five words that strike terror in my heart when Monster says them; "look what I did!".

Now most parents would be all excited, "Ohh, Honey!! What did you do?"

I was naive enough at one point to be one of those parents.

But now I know better. "Mama, look what I did!" can mean, 'look at how I flooded the kitchen floor!' or 'Look at how I took a whole bottle of your new shampoo and mixed it in with my goop to have goop shampoo!' 'Look at how I dumped sugar all over the counter to make a "beach" for my lego people to play on!"

He always says it so excitedly, like he can't WAIT to show us his latest destruction. I sometimes wonder if he is intentionally trying to drive us insane. But no, it's just Monster being Monster, thinking we'll be as impressed with his new project as he is.

Last night he said to me, "Mama, look what I did to my toothpaste!" and I inwardly groaned. This was a brand-new container of toothpaste we had bought him. It's berry flavored (because mint still sends him into fits of rage, like his taste buds are being burned off by acid). So with lots of trepidation I looked on the counter at his bottle of toothpaste. What did he do? Did he add Draino to it? Pump hand soap into it? Pour his never-ending supply of goop into it?

No. He had pulled the label off. I realized I had been holding my breath, waiting for the punchline, and I audibly let out my breath and laughed. "Oh, cool!". Monster was surprised a bit - Mama is excited about something I showed her?

It was probably a mistake. A nod of approval to keep up these wasteful experiments that we try to explain cost us extra MONEY - this stuff isn't free. We've asked you not to use the stuff in the bathroom for experiments before (the liquid soap container used to get filled in the morning, and be empty by that evening). Not only is it wasteful but something you mix might be dangerous.

He has a chemistry kit. He has no interest in it. He wants to use our normal household products to try whatever little test he gets in his head.

It sure makes life interesting. And not always in a good way.